Hate Feeling Weak (Alucard, Jason/Seeker)

[Bizarro/Kal Lichon]

(June 14th. Morning. Open to Kal and Alucard for a few posts. Then Jason/Seeker could come later.)

Kal had spent the first couple days stuck in the medical wing with visits from some of the others including Jason and Seeker. He was glad for his boyfriends even if they scared some of the others who came to visit. It amused him at times but now that he was finally free of the medical wing he'd come out here to vent. They'd tried removing the tattoo but it was magic and hard to remove. He'd tried scrubbing it off until he bled and Seeker and Jason had stopped him. They'd been his rock through this whole thing.

And now he didn't know what to do. He was practically human in this form. He'd stuck to wearing baggy shirts now. He didn't want to see the tattoo at all. He was currently dressed in a long red shirt, blue shorts and a pair of red boxers. He was barefoot having come out in here in a hurry and he sighed. Just coming out here had made him feel a little tired.

"Damn it. I'm getting tired just walking. What good am I to this army? To Jason? To Seeker? I promised to protect him but I can't even protect myself. I'm weak. Useless." said Kal.

He slammed his fist into a tree in anger and winced bringing back a bruised knuckle. Flashes of his captivity come back to him. For the first time he'd felt real fear and real pain. And now any of them could grab him from either army. He was a liability and figured they'd probably bench him from fighting. If they hadn't already. But if he couldn't fight how was he going to be useful.

"Now what am I going to do?" said Kal, frustrated.

[Alucard]

(OCC: Hope you don't mind how I wrote this. Was just developing alucard a bit. Also poor kal, hope he'll get his powers back soon)

Alucard had been in process of taking in Kal under his wing for the sake of the laws of this area preventing minors from being unsupervised. Sure, Kal was a adult and Alucard completely respected that and not only would allow kal to have his own life but if anything alucard expected kal to be an adult overall anyway. Alucard only helped him out because he was fond of kal and viewed him indeed like a son. He was technically kal's parent and did everything he could to be a relatively supportive caregiver. Which was why he supported the overall relationship of Jason and kal, yet a part of him didn't really view Jason as worthy. If anything, he found the man to be too weak spirited and overly cheerful. This incident of Jason saving kal not only proved to alucard he and seeker were worthy, but that Jason was rather more than able to fight his own. Alucard underestimated the man but vowed to not let that happen. He also vowed to be there for kal if need be. Which alucard felt like he failed.

Alucard was angry that people kidnapped his good friend during a time where he was training. And more important he felt angry that he missed it and was unable to help at that moment. He felt like he failed kal and felt shame, guilt and a bit of sadness as well. If kal was dead, it would be a huge personal loss for alucard and as such, he checked on kal many times. Alongside Jason. Alucard did his best but he could tell kal was humiliated and embarrassed by the temporary loss of his powers. Alucard was hellbent on finding the answers and did his own research, but facilier and rita told him it was just going to take a small while before they could break the spell. Alucard was forced to wait. If he could take kal's curse he certainly would. He turned to notice Kal upset and venting. Punching a tree before wincing. Alucard sympathized, being weak was never fun and the embarrassment of certain issues made it worse. Alucard knew how much kal's strength and powers meant to him. So he knew this was a big blow. Alucard went over, putting his hands on kal's shoulders and replied "This is only temporary Kal. Do not think of yourself as useless. You are not useless. We will get you your powers back"

He then replied sincerely "There are many, many things you can do still. Medic for example. But I understand your desires to fight and be there for others. But just because you do not have powers now does not mean you aren't worthy of anything. There are plenty of us with no powers that can still fight anyway. Those fools on the opposing side will pay and I will make sure of it" He then patted kal's shoulder affectionately, looking down slightly in shame "If anyone should be shamed, it should be me. I was not here for you when I should've been. I am sorry"

[Bizarro/Kal Lichon]

Kal paused hearing Alucard's voice and felt his hands. In his weakened state he hadn't even heard him approach which upset him further. What if it had been an enemy?

"I'm stupid. I came out here without even a weapon or shoes. I could have just got myself captured again." said Kal.

He paused smiling up at Alucard. He'd heard the guy had agreed to be his father at least legally. They'd sparred once but it felt like ages ago. And he'd grown fond of the vampire. He was glad to see he was okay.

"I hope so. So far Facilier and the others haven't figured out how to remove this thing. I'm practically a human now." said Kal.

He paused at his words.

"I know we don't have many medics but I don't really have training exactly. I guess it couldn't hurt to learn." said Kal.

He paused at his words and shook his head.

"No. It's no one's fault. They just surprised us. Jesse and Trickster tried to help but Zod's group played dirty. I could have probably handled them by myself but I don't think I could have forgiven myself if they'd hurt or kil them. I know Jesse's been blaming himself for my capture. He already apologized to me. I told him it wasn't his fault but he still has the guilt." said Kal.

He smiled at him.

"I'm glad you're here though. I know this is just mostly for legal purposes. I look like a teenager when I'm not. I have a boyfriend. Real love. But I've never had parents before. Would you be okay with me calling you father? I was jealous of Clark having two sets of parents. Sure he didn't know his Kryptonian one that well and Jonathan died. But he still had them. I had nothing and no one until I got Jason and Seeker and now you." said Kal.

[Alucard]

"Kal. Do not be so harsh on yourself. It will only hurt you more. You wanted to vent, this area is safe and well kept. Facilier has improved our borders" He hoped this would assure kal. He knew the poor man was just feeling upset and disappointed in himself. As such would punish himself more. Alucard knew this road and wanted to prevent kal from getting onto the same path he did. He then nodded as Kal hoped he would get his powers back and shamed himself for being human. Alucard replied, slightly firm but empathetically as to not make kal feel bad "Being human is not a bad thing. Humans have amazing ways of adapting to the environment, just because you do not have powers does not mean you are not strong. You have wit and you are intelligent. You'll get your powers back but you will also survive this time of struggle. You have a strong spirit, I believe that with every part of me" He hoped his words helped, still feeling some guilt for not being there during the previous battle.

"It never hurts to learn. I did not know anything about guns until I was taught. Now I am the most well known gun expert here. I am sure someone will teach you and you can be a medic if you desire. People always find a way to make use of themselves" Alucard replied sincerely once more. He knew kal was going to have a hard time but with support and the right mindset he would be alright. Alucard hoped he was helping a bit.

"Jesse and the rest of us care about you here as you care about people within the army. Not only is losing you a disservice to me but a disservice to others. My personal fondness for you is immense and having you captured was a large problem for me. Jesse will forgive himself in time because it, as you rightfully say, is not his fault. Still, I feel shame for not being there. Regardless of responsibility, I could have at least been there to stop their dirty tricks. But perhaps that is just false. They will still pay though. Seeker may have harmed zod but once I see him, he will wish seeker finished him off" Alucard's eyes were filled with a anger and need for revenge. He had a desire to destroy Zod himself. That is if seeker didn't get to him first. He also had a desire to crush ursa and Cassidy, the people responsible for assisting him.

He then smiled serenely as kal asked him if it was okay to call him and view him as father. Alucard had attempted to try to have a family but never really succeeded, only focused on his master and mission. He primarily wanted to be a destroyer of evil and a violent means to defeat violent monsters but kal made him feel like he had a nicer, more easier purpose. With a soft smile, he nodded and replied "You can refer to me as father if you wish. Regardless of adulthood or not, everyone needs a parent or family" He then smiled approvingly "I am glad you found love in Jason. I fully support your relationship" He then had a amused look, jokingly commenting "But he does realize you're too good for him right?"

[Bizarro/Kal Lichon]

Kal smiled at him.

"I'm glad to hear that. I didn't want to end up captured again. But I haven't found a way to regain my powers and that scares me. I've never been without my powers since my creation and now I worry." said Kal.

He sighed.

"I'm a Kryptonian. Or well this body is a cloned Kryptonian. My powers blocked or taken away is not good for me. If I grew up human I could be used to it. But having all that power and then having it taken from you I just don't know what to do." siad Kal.

He paused at Alucard's words and nodded.

"I want to learn. Guns, swords. Whatever I can. This power loss is taking longer than I'd hoped. I know some have thought it might be permanent. And if I have no powers then I have to adjust." said Kal.

He chuckled.

"He was amazing though. He swooped in and saved me. I really lucked out with him." said Kal.

Kal grinned as Alucard said he was okay to call him as a father.

"I'd like that father. Or would you prefer dad?" said Kal.

He grinned.

"I'm glad. I fell in love hard and fast maybe at first but it doesn't change how I feel." said Kal.

He shook his head.

"Sometimes I feel I'm not good enough for him. But I guess we both have our own issues to work out." said Kal.

He paused for a moment looking away and back at Alucard.

"If my powers are gone and I get seriously hurt do you think you could bit me? I'd rather be a vampire than dead. And I think Jason and Seeker would agree. It might even give me back my old powers. But if not at least I'd have vampire strength. But only as a last resort like you couldn't get me back here in time. Being human has made me question my mortality now." said Kal.