Venomous Memories(Ma-Ti)

[Ma-Ti]

Ma-Ti sighed.

"I know much of the blame is on the various villains in the other armies. But I still blame myself. I didn't ask to be brainwashed, to lose my memories, my death faked, or tortured. Or to hurt people I care about. But it all happened anyway." said Ma-Ti.

He listened to him talk about Leonardo.

"I'm sorry you've been split apart. I know you and Donatello have had to deal with a lot. three of your sons in other armies and you've only recovered two of them. I know you help many of us with our problems but if you ever want to talk I'm a good listener." said Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti nodded.

"I want to do better but part of me fears that young innocent boy I once was is gone. Sometimes it hurts to see old clips from my old life or even in some of the reviews and specials I appeared in here. No matter how many times I was captured or hurt I didn't start to lose heart until I came here. And now I can't even wear the ring I was chosen for. But I understand. How can I wear the ring of heart when I have doubts of my own heart." said Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti looked up at him in shock.

"You seem so calm and collected. So brave. I kind of thought you weren't afraid of anything." said Ma-Ti.

He then blushed as he said those words and grinned at Splinter's words.

"He is a coward and I'm so grateful to have you here." said Ma-Ti.

He frowned at that.

"That didn't stop him before. And sometimes I've felt like I deserved it all. Gi, Linka, Kwame and Wheeler suffered so much before I ended up here. Gi's here. Duke Nukem's here but my other three friends are likely still prisoners and going through who knows what. And I have no way to rescue them or get back home. Even if this war ends I've been stranded here longer than that." said Ma-Ti.

He smiled weakly as Splinter spoke again.

"You are very wise Master Splinter. I'm not sure what I'd have done without you. And you're right. I can't guarantee the future or what I'll do. But I just know I love her. So I'm going to keep trying to make it work. For as long as she'll have me." said Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti nodded and then looked at Splinter.

"But what if it's not enough? What if I still end up like this? Sad, angry, afraid. I know I can't live like this forever. I'll end up snapping and hurting someone I care about. Or losing it in a fight and get myself hurt, captured or worse." said Ma-Ti.

He paused for a moment as if getting an idea.

"Could you teach me how to meditate? I doubt it will work right away but I'm hoping it'll help at least a little bit." said Ma-Ti.

[Master Splinter]

"I know it is natural to blame yourself. But remember, you were forced to do these things and made to do them by other people. You cannot blame yourself for things out of your control" Splinter replied, trying to assure the young boy. He then listened as Ma-Ti also offered a friendly ear about his frustrations with his oldest son being captured. He sighed softly and smiled "I am very appreciative of your kindness my friend. But I am afraid I am not the one who needs comfort. Donatello is struggling to hold us together when it is not his duty. I will be fine, my friend"

"Because you do still have it. It is just hidden from frustrations this world brought onto you. But not everything changes overnight. You must allow yourself to heal and be patient with yourself. One day you will be happier and change for the better, not for worse. And you will earn your pride" Splinter patiently replied, understanding what ma-ti was struggling with. He then smiled, chuckling as Ma-Ti called him brave and assuming he did not feel any fear "My friend, as I said being brave does not mean being unafraid. In fact, many heroes go through life genuinely worrying if they will not live to see tomorrow as they charge onto battle. I fear more than most for the sake of my sons. It is why I am not impulsive" He then smiled warmly, affectionately patting Ma-Ti's shoulder as he expressed gratitude for his company. Splinter did have a soft heart for the boy. Heck he did for all the children but something about ma-ti was special, ma-ti reminded him of leonardo a lot.

"That is because Facilier is no more than a dishonorable beast. No different from the wild animals in the forest. He knows he cannot fight fair without failure, so he must resort to cheating and going to low lengths. As for Gi, she will eventually see who is in the wrong and your other friends are most likely home safe. You must survive for yourself and worry about your own life for now. If she confronts you, just simply respond back with kindness, that is all you can do" Splinter knew how much ma-ti struggled with selflessness quite a lot, especially when it came to his friends. He was sad that ma-ti struggled so but he knew he could not do much but offer kindness of his own.

He then nodded satisfied with ma-ti's answer about IHeart. The rat knew as long love was involved and the two were willing to try, then they would survive any type of drama headed their way. Splinter nodded "That is exactly what you can do. Love her and let her love you. Love cannot be kidnapped or taken away. It can survive anything as long as the person gives it to another and they keep it" He then sighed softly as Ma-Ti gave him a what-if about his possibility of never healing "Ma-ti, you will not be like this forever. Your willingness to try and continue proves to me you will get better. Be patient with yourself. Do what you must do to heal. Even if it means talking to me for years to come"

"Yes my friend. I will be more than happy to" He then moved ma-ti's hands to the upright position and replied "Now cross your legs similar to a pretzel, it'll give your legs room to relax" He then patiently rose his head up and replied gently "Now take deep breaths and close your eyes. That's the first step"

[Ma-Ti]

Ma-Ti sighed.

"I know that up here." said Ma-Ti, pointing to his head.

"But not here." said Ma-Ti, as he pointed to his heart.

Ma-Ti nodded.

"Sounds like he needs a friend too. Maybe I could see if he wants a friend to talk to. Or a nice distraction." said Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti smiled weakly.

"I want to believe that. Maybe I will one day. It just won't be as soon as I'd wish." said Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti nodded.

"I see." said Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti sighed.

"I wish I could use my ring to get through to her. She's been lied to and manipulated. Just like your son. They should both be here." said Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti smiled before it fell.

"I will just do my best. I just can't believe she still wants me. Sometimes I feel just so broken." said Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti nodded.

"I'm glad you're here. This would be so hard to do without you being here." said Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti nodded crossing his legs and trying to mimic what Splinter is telling him to do as he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.

[Master Splinter]

Splinter smiled softly as Ma-Ti explained that logically he could understand but he couldn't feel it. "Give it time my friend. It does not come in a day. I promise though you will feel it. In the meantime try to forgive yourself" Splinter insisted gently. He was understanding but the boy needed to see that splinter and many would not hold ma-ti responsible for anything. It was just something the boy had to handle on his own maybe. Then donatello came up again "Donatello is a very kind one. He needs friendship certainly"

"Exactly. Time heals wounds most of the time. All you can do is be patient" Splinter replied. He knew it was a tad repetitive but it was all he could offer for things like this. He then listened about the ring and widened his eyes a little at that. He couldn't help but be curious "If your ring can do that, maybe you should have it with you and try on gi next time you see her" He then frowned softly and sympathetically as ma-ti called himself broken "It is not you who is broken. It is just your mind. The mind is like any body part. It needs to heal"

"I am glad to help you ma-ti. I am always here for you should you need me" Splinter replied before helping ma-ti learn to meditate. He then replied "Good. Now keep breathing and try to not think about anything. Just simply be in the room and think of yourself as within the room. Good keep breathing deeply" He then did so as well to help ma-ti focus before responding calmly "Simply think of a gentle breeze, or the ocean, or anything that truly makes you calm"

[Ma-Ti]

Ma-Ti smiled.

"I'll try. You make everything just sound so easy." said Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti grinned.

"I'd love to get to know them. Michelangelo, Raphael and Donatello. And Leonardo when we free him." said Ma-Ti.

He sighed and shook his head.

"I can't risk that. I might make it worse. She hates me and I can't blame her. My leaving our world wasn't my fault but I was gone for years. They were left weaker without me. No Captain Planet. Their rings could only summon the elements to a limited degree. And Kwame, Wheeler and Linka are still back there and probably worse than Gi is. And Souchi, Commander Clash, and Gaia... I have no idea if they're all okay or even alive." said Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti nodded.

"I know. But sometimes I wonder if I'll have the time to heal in this war. Some people could take months or years to heal. And some never really heal completely. Or so I've heard." said Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti smiled at him.

"Thank you. You mind me of the shaman from my village. Being around you it makes me not miss my parents as much. I barely remember them and yet I still miss them." said Ma-Ti.

He nodded and started trying to fcocus and meditate. He paused thinking of Hope Island. Of how it used to be. Of him playing with the other Planteers and Souchi like the good old days.

"I'm thinking of home. How we used to play together on Hope Island between missions and have fun." said Ma-Ti.

[Master Splinter]

Splinter shrugged with a slight smile at the praise of making it seem so simple. It wasn't simple. It took years for splinter to understand these things. He was scared and confused when he was ma-ti's age. He spent a few years alone before he had his sons. It wasn't a easy process to be suddenly alone to suddenly becoming a parent. But he did it. Because he knew he couldn't abandon his boys. He then smiled at ma-ti's assurance of getting leonardo and expressing the desire to get to know his sons. He replied positively "Oh michaelangelo has always been so open, raphael and donatello I do believe will be more than happy to befriend you. And as for leonardo, when he does return I truly do think kindness is exactly what he will need also"

Splinter then nodded as ma-ti explained that not only was using the ring against Gi a bad idea, but if anything it would make the situation worse. Splinter didn't know the ring's power and was willing to take ma-ti's word for it. He nodded sympathetically "I still believe her anger is misdirected. It is no more your fault that your world is hurting than hers. As for your other friends, perhaps the scientists here can find a solution for you to visit or even have your friends come here to see you. But I am no scientist, I only know some mystical and spiritual things due to my experiences" Splinter shrugged with a somewhat puzzled sigh, unsure of what to do for ma-ti. He then patted ma-ti's shoulder as he expressed that while he understood it took time, he was worried that he didn't have enough and that he might still never heal. Splinter nodded "That is true. But you do have plenty of time, you are young. You are still growing. Those people who never heal were probably world weary as is. Still, I understand your concerns. We all have that type of concern in war. War is a difficult time for anyone"

"Of course you do. Every child needs their parents. And you have had them taken from you far too soon. I am glad my presence is a comfort to you. As I said, you are welcome to come see me at anytime" Mrs. Potts and Splinter have unspokenly made a vow to be there for the children should they ask for them. Splinter usually was lucky and got the older children, heck the only real young one that visited him often was lilo. Splinter had no problem with having more teens come to him than children, teens in his opinion were far easier to tolerate. Mrs. Potts usually had the younger children come to her. Splinter had especially no problems with ma-ti. He was a very wise, smart young man.

He then noticed ma-ti finally focus properly and express what he was thinking. Splinter nodded "Good! Keep thinking of that as you breathe. Think about how that place makes you feel, focus on that feeling and just remember to breathe" Splinter took a deep breath as a example and exhaled his breath out. Splinter then repeated, his voice softer as to not disturb the moment "Let this moment last as long as you want, do not let any noises or outside forces interrupt it"

[Ma-Ti]

Ma-Ti nodded.

"I'm sure it will be fun. Maybe they could even help me train. I want to get better. I don't feel worthy of my ring anymore even if it still considers me worthy. People got hurt because of me, intentionally or not. I nearly destroyed this universe because of my anger and resentment. I became what I hated most. A villain." said Ma-Ti.

He paused looking at the ground.

"And when I was stuck there part in as a horse, part of me felt like I deserved it. I nearly wiped out billions of lives all because a few people treated me badly. Talking with you has helped but I still feel guilty for what I've done." said Ma-Ti.

He smiled at Splinter.

"I doubt there'd be a way to visit. They haven't been able to send anyone else back to their worlds. The children shouldn't be in this war but here they are. I want them to come and not at the same time. If they're here I can see them again but that also puts them in danger. Or they'll be turned against me like Gi." said Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti smiled at him.

"The village elder was like a second father to me. And now I've lost him too. All I have left here is my friends and Iheart." said Ma-Ti.

He smiled at Splinter.

"You remind me so much of him. I know you already have four sons but is it okay if I think of you like an uncle? Or a grandfather?" asked Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti paused as he began focusing on his mediation more trying to block out everything but Splinter's voice.

"How will I know if it works?" asked Ma-Ti, as he kept trying.

[Master Splinter]

(OCC: I love everything about this. I know splinter is like friends with everyone but ma-ti is officially his adopted nephew now. I am totally on board with splinter being his official uncle now)

"My sons have always been social and kind. They'll be more than happy to help you. And I know that you will grow stronger as time goes on" Splinter assured. He was approving of ma-ti befriending his children and vise versa. He was always fond of ma-ti but thanks to malachite and facilier's magic, he felt ma-ti slip from the army due to his negative encounters. But he was glad that was all changed now. The past was hurtful but it moved along. Then ma-ti confessed to him about what else happened to him. He explained to splinter that he died previously and was so angry by it he became the villain of his own story. Splinter's ears perked up just a bit out of concern but otherwise said nothing. He didn't really know what to say, so he felt it best to just listen. It was working so far for the boy.

He nodded a little as ma-ti confessed that some of the reason he felt so negative about himself was because he felt guilty for nearly destroying the world. For hurting others simply because he himself had been hurt. Splinter held ma-ti's shoulder and replied "Ma-ti, my friend, believe me when I tell you, I have seen people do far, far worse than what you have done. Still, it is immensely good you are aware of your wrong doings and are trying to change from that. But know that the past does not define who you are. Nor does the past control your present" He then patted ma-ti's shoulder affectionately and replied "It is right to feel shame for your wrong doings but that does not mean you deserve to suffer for it" Splinter meant this too. He saw ma-ti constantly try to change and be kind which made splinter far more forgiving to him than most people.

"Perhaps you are correct. It might be too dangerous for your friends to be here. Still, I know you miss your friends. I too miss my home. I understand how difficult this whole situation is" Splinter replied sympathetically. There were times he really missed his underground home, the peace and quiet of the area felt natural. All these people was very nice but there were moments he missed his friends such as the Daiymo, Casey Jones and April O'Neil. He sighed softly as ma-ti wisely pointed out that it's been too difficult to send anyone back home. If it was easier, they'd probably be home by now. Or at least be able to in case the war got too heated for those who wanted to stay.

The focus shifted from ma-ti's past friends to ma-ti's current ones as the boy addressed he did miss the elder, due to him being the father figure he needed in his life. But now all he had was friends here and IHeart, his girlfriend. Splinter was about to assure him that this did not have to be a bad thing. That this was a family still. Then suddenly Ma-Ti addressed that splinter reminded him of that elder and ma-ti was so fond of him that he asked if splinter could take him in as a grandson or uncle. Splinter's eyes watered a little. Something about this kid was tugging at his heart strings. Splinter adored his sons and would never replace them ever but he was more than happy to take the boy in as part of his family. He smiled softly and held the boy's hand replying "I would be absolutely honored to take you in as part of my family" He then smirked a bit, his tone somewhat light hearted "But I am not that old to be your grandfather. Uncle will suffice"

He then smiled more as ma-ti curiously asked him how would he know if the meditation was working. He softly replied, still allowing himself to not ruin the peaceful moment "If you feel nothing but peace. If you hear nothing but my voice. If you see nothing but things that bring you happiness. Then you will know it works" He replied sincerely

[Ma-Ti]

Ma-Ti grinned.

"Then I look forward to their help." said Ma-Ti.

He paused at Splinter's words and smiled gratefully. He knew talking to Splinter was the rig ht thing. While it didn't get rid of his guilt it did ease a bit. He certainly had a way with words.

"Sometimes I think it does. But I'm trying to get better at that." said Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti nodded.

"But then again there is danger anywhere I suppose. Even without villains. You could get struck by lightning or hit by a car. There's no way to really predict when danger or a threat could come at you. I guess the most important thing is to enjoy what time you have as you don't know which moment could be your last." said Ma-Ti.

Ma-Ti paused as Splinter's looked a bit sad at his question. Before he could ask Splinter was glad to consider him family.

"Thank you, Uncle Splinter. I now have two uncles now. You and Uncle Spirit." said Ma-Ti.

He paused as he closes his eyes trying to meditate but he had no idea if it was working. He just kept breathing trying to focus.

[Master Splinter]

Splinter was pleased Ma-Ti was listening and taking in his advice. He smiled a lot more as Ma-Ti said he was trying to ignore his negative thoughts more. He replied patiently "I know it will not happen right away but you will learn to not let your past define who you are. It takes time" He then nodded as Ma-Ti wisely pointed out that danger was everywhere. He replied with a slightly amused tone "Yes, danger is inevitable, and can happen at anytime. The best thing we can do is prepare and be alert whenever possible. While also, as you very wisely point out, enjoy the time we have on this earth"

He then smiled warmly at Ma-Ti's acceptance of him "You will always be part of my family, Ma-Ti. Know that I will always look out for you" Which was true. He was going to make sure this boy was safe. He then nodded in approval as Ma-Ti continued to focus. He kept his voice low, replying gently "Just keep breathing and let your mind relax"