Only Skin-Deep

[Donatello]

(OCC: February 9th. Open to Donny and Tara only. Bonding thread)

Donny didn't know why but he felt useless to the heroes. He normally was the smartest, the one with a good plan or weapon, the one who picked his brothers up when they fell, the one who was the most peaceful. Now? Linksano and Tony invented things twice as fast as he did, Nostalgia Critic or Linkara had good plans, Marzgurl and Angry Joe had good weapons and the children only wanted peace. What good was he? He was just a member of the team and nothing more.

Donny was not one to have good self-esteem so he never felt special to begin with. So when he was taken away from being unique, he pretty much felt worthless. Donny as he sat away from the house and pretty much sitting alone on a empty bench, in the light night. He felt the need to just disappear.

[Deleted]

Tara had been wandering about, feeling bored and tired. She needed to do something to keep her mind off of home. Walking appeared to be her best bet at the moment. Hopefully, she'd stop feeling homesick soon. She wore a jacket and fingerless gloves that day, fighting the February wind. The breezy ice wind blew her wavy chocolate locks a bit. She sighed as she stopped walking, cool wind nipping at her nose and stinging her eyes. Sullivan looked around until she saw Donny.

"Why the long face, Turtle Man?" she asked, taking a seat beside the turtle. She clasped her hands together, awaiting a reply. He seemed to be upset, and Tara figured they could both use someone to talk to.

[Donatello]

Donny turned to see Tara, the woman who he agreed to train with a day ago. He didn't want to impose but she asked him a question and seemed like she was willing to listen. Donny sighed and rubbed his arms slightly, not out of coldness but of nervousness. He responded gently "I guess I'm just upset over the things that have been happening lately. Those kids being kiddnapped, the villains overpowering us every so often, my two brothers being on the wrong side without even knowing it"

[Deleted]

Tara nodded slowly as she listened to the adolescent turtle. The captives were stressful on everyone it seemed. Everyone but Tara. She told herself that they could get them back. Besides, she hadn't known them very well. At least, most of them. She figured they were tough enough to get out of the situation alive. Sure, she worried a bit, but there were often other things on her mind. Things like if she can really pull the trigger to end someone's life. Things like if she'd live to see tomorrow.

"That sounds pretty bad. I mean, I never had any siblings, so I can't quite relate to that. But I have some close friends who I'd be crushed if they turned against me. Don't worry about the enemy, either. They want you to crumble mentally to break you physically. Can't do that. You just have to toughen up and move on. Like a soldier does." Tara gave a bit of a shrug. "I just plow through things in my way to get through them, bottle up my feelings. Sure, it's not healthy, but you need to seem like a strong individual in the eyes of the enemy There's not too many people I trust either, so I don't get betrayed by my enemy."

[Donatello]

Tara's tough love was admittedly helpful. Her words sounded sympathetic but focused. Donny would've normally felt annoyed with it but at this point of low, he was desperate for any comfort. He wanted to console with Splinter but the poor rat was already working with tons of other people. Donny didn't blame his sensei, he was a good rat and helpful so it was understandable one of his status was constantly busy.

He then listened to the fact she didn't have siblings. Also, that she wasn't really afraid of the enemy. Some of it most likely had to do with the fact she was here shorter than he was but he could get why she'd doubt them, for some of the villains didn't really strut their feathers yet. He then felt bad for her too, she didn't have much friends and never talked about her feelings. She was so open with him and yet she never allowed anyone to help her.

"You're right. I need to toughen up. I need to try and focus on the war at hand. I'm working on trying to not be so passive fighting-wise. I just... I don't think I'm a soilder. I'm not really good at it" Donny admitted finally

[Deleted]

Tara listened to Donny's confession that he didn't think he was a good soldier. Her eyes wandered onto the ground, letting it sink in. What made a good soldier? Being courageous was one quality. Standing up for your rights was another. You had to have a bit of heart to be a good soldier. Physical things like muscles were nice, sure, but being a soldier was more of a mental thing than a physical one. Though, it would be nice if you knew at least how to defend yourself from danger.

Aquatic hued eyes transferred from the ground back up to Donny. "Donny, being a soldier is a lot more of a mental thing than a physical one. A good-hearted man- or turtle, or arguably a robot- can be a soldier by the way they act. You gotta be tough sometimes as a soldier, and toughen up those around you. I'm not a charming person to be around most days, trust me, but I'm like that so somebody can stand up for themselves. Toughen up a bit. My methods of toughening up are probably way different than a normal person, but that's because I'm turning into a soldier. They put others before themselves."

Tara inhaled deeply, exhaling with a sigh. "You're not a bad soldier at all. You've just gotta plow through all of the stress. That's what I've told myself for a few years. I must be doing something right if I'm still alive."

[Donatello]

Donny's eyes softened as Tara told him that he wasn't really bad as a soilder. Sure he needed to toughen up but he wasn't a bad soilder in her eyes. He felt a bit better in that way. Donny smiled, grateful for her advice. Yes he needed to toughen up but he also could be himself, at least that's how he predicted Tara's advice. Donny turned to Tara and responded, slightly still unsure "Really? You think I'm a good soilder? You mean that?"

[Deleted]

Tara laughed lightheartedly at Donny's questions. "Hell yeah I do, Turtle Man. You just gotta get through some hurdles and you'll start getting noticed a lot more. Me being me, I'm sure I'm starting to get noticed. I'm itching to get into a fight. See, a battle is where a soldier's true colors start showing. There are those who stay on the frontlines, those who abandon ship, and those who throw themselves into the battle to rescue another. I'm hoping to get noticed in a good way during my first battle."

A smile plastered itself to Tara's face. "Honestly, how hard could it be to go up against someone with fairy dust? Good ol' military tactics versus magic? Hmm. A magic wand, or a bullet through the head. Which one is gonna deal more damage? The enemy doesn't stand a chance with Tara Sullivan around."

[Donatello]

Donny beamed brightly, feeling a bit more confident in himself now. Tara's kindness was admittedly useful and helpful for the turtle's poor self-esteem. Donny then snickered as well when Tara started to speak about herself, not out of amusement but he believed that she was a tough person entirely. Donny then responded back "Yeah. I believe that the enemy won't know what hit them when you're out there"

He then begin to smile a bit bigger and responded calmly "Thank you. I really appreciate you talking to me about this Tara"

[Deleted]

"You know it. They'll be running, crying to their mothers." Tara said with another lighthearted chuckle. Maybe it was a bit of an exaggeration, but Tara honestly thought that she could take on any of the enemy's members. She didn't want to call them villains, feeling it was a bit too childish. The enemy sounded a bit more like she was an adult. In her mimd, there was no hero, there was no villain. There was only her side and the enemy. Maybe there were heroes of war, but right now, they were all just soldiers. She nodded to Donny's final statement.

"Yeah, no problem Donny. I've always been good at pep talks. I've had to give pep talks to my mom for years. You get pretty good at it after a while, y'know? Maybe it just takes practice." Tara looked down at her hands. Her mother briefly crossed her mind, and she had to shove her right back out. She was fine. She had to be fine.

[Donatello]

Donny laughed a bit more when Tara mocked the villains to go cry to their mothers. It was rather interesting to him that she was confident. He would've told her not to think like that but right now he was in a rather childlike mood. Donny doubted SOME of the villains but the rest he didn't want to pull his luck with.

He then gave a puzzled look when Tara mentioned she did this before. To her mother. Why? Not that it was bad just curiousity. Donny couldn't help but ask "Wait. You've been doing this with your mom? How come? If it's not too much to ask"

[Deleted]

The human female took a moment to think about the question Donny asked. She let out an exasperated sigh. "She has some serious depression." she started off, playing with her dog tags now. "It's a bit personal, but I guess I could tell you a bit about it. My dad got killed in the army- the government run army- a little more than a decade ago. My mom took it in harder than I did. So, I usually helped her get through the days, reminding her that she's still got me."

Tara let out another laugh. This one was sad and pathetic. "I guess now she doesn't have me around. Hopefully, she's still alive at the very least."

[Donatello]

Donny was shocked. Tara's mother was depressed and her father was dead. That was very hard for the turtle to take in. His own father was the only parent he had and Splinter's parents figures, both of them, were dead so he never realized Tara had it rough and gritty. Then Tara laughed but this one didn't make him laugh, it made him feel really bad for her. Her mother was alone and tara seemed like she was worried about her

Cautiously but calmly, he put a hand on her shoulder. He was worried she would shrug it off but he wanted to be her friend and help her. Donny was that type of person. He responded "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't of asked something so personal"

[Deleted]

Tara, deep down, did appreciate that Donny was trying to comfort her. She wanted just a shred of comfort to get some things off her mind. She looked at Donny and shook her head. "Nah, it's fine. I guess it's better to let it out then bottle it all in, despite what I've told myself." Tara responded. "I just hope for the best, despite it being against the odds." Typically, Tara was pretty cynical and bitter towards life. But when it came to her mother, she hoped for the best for that poor woman.

"I've learned to deal with loss at an early age. That's the only plus to growing up without my dad. Well, that, and my pep talk skills I guess. It's not a big deal, really." Tara knew she was lying about the last sentence, but she might as well do her best to keep up her tough exterior.

[Donatello]

"It is a big deal. Well, it is for people like me" Donny responded back as Tara spoke. He didn't really like the concept of bottling emotions in. He did believe in manning up but speaking about emotions didn't mean you were weak. He could tell he may or may not have been pushing his luck but he cared. He wanted Tara to know that he was her friend. Donny continued "I really think you can talk to me. After all, you helped me"