Unable To Talk(Spirit)

[Spirit]

"No. What I did was anything but ok. I understand. You're not pathetic but you are more afraid than anyone should be. No, you will become better just not today. Being afraid of what I did is justified. I am so sorry" Spirit said, feeling nothing but guilt and shame. He could tell Ma-Ti felt bad for spirit feeling bad but the older horse didn't care. He wanted his friend to trust him and he felt that he broke that trust by acting the way he did. Spirit was glad that ma-ti was nuzzling him and forgiving him though, at least Ma-ti seemed to still want to be friends. That ma-ti and him were still good with one another.

Then came Ma-ti's shame and bad feelings with trust and self worth. "I know. You're right. You have had it rough when it came to self-worth but to me you are one of the most worthy humans ever. If you were a man, I would let you ride me that is how much I trust you" Spirit was shocked with himself but he didn't care. He wanted his friend to know that he spirit loved him for who he was. "IHeart was the only one good to you I am assuming. Perhaps she saw what I see. A boy who acted more than that. I see a man. A good hearted man. Just misguided and needing help and trust with others. There is still hope for you. Always is hope for the hopeless" He nuzzled him still glad that his friend was not angry with him or hurt anymore.

He felt honored when Ma-Ti, after what he just did, said that he was very happy spirit was here. And asked him to swear that he wouldn't go off into battle, get hurt/killed or leave him. Spirit was a free horse so everything ma-ti said sounded completely easy to do. He was, in a way, under Ma-Ti's kind thumb and he was not ashamed of it. Spirit nodded "I swear upon my life I will never leave you or your friends. You have suffered and deserve nothing more than the best. Yes, I will not go into battle if you do not want me to"

"Yet there is. You handled many stressful things. The last thing you need is more people yelling at you. I am sorry regardless. I yelled and that was uncalled for. I will never do it again. Unless someone harms you, trust me, I will unleash hell upon them" Spirit said both kindly and seriously. He didn't want anyone to hurt his friend. Ma-Ti was somewhat like his son. He felt the need to protect him.

[Ma-Ti]

Midnight nodded.

"You're right. It wasn't ok. But I know you wouldn't really hurt me. You're my friend." said Midnight.

He nodded again at Spirit's words.

"I don't know when I will get rid of this fear. I don't want to be afraid anymore." said Midnight.

He whimpered softly as he nuzzled Spirit. He smiled at him.

"I know I've had a lot of bad things happen to me in 14 years than what most people would have in a life time. " said Midnight.

He paused looking at Spirit in shock as he said he if he was human Spirit would let him ride him.

"You trust me that much? Thank you. I'll try not to let you down." said Midnight.

He nodded sadly.

"Yes. The others have gotten a lot better now. Spoony, Nostalgia Critic, Nostalgia Chick, all of them. And there were others who never treated me that way in the army as well. But I haven't really spent much time with them I suppose. I was always with Iheart or Spoony or Critic. I probably should have hung out with everyone more." said Midnight.

He grinned as Spirit spoke again saying he wouldn't leave.

"Thank you. You're a good friend. I've lost my parents when I was young. And I lost my friends and my old life from my world. All I have left is this world and my friends. I've lost so much. I don't want to lose anyone else. Especially you my friend." said Ma-Ti.

He paused as Spirit spoke again.

"Let's put it behind us. I don't want you to feel bad any more. You lost your temper but you haven't lost me as a friend. I could never blame you. You've done a lot for me today. You're one of my best friends and I don't think I could of handle being stuck as a horse without your help. So thank you." said Midnight.

[Spirit]

"Well that is true. I would never hurt you" Spirit said in confirmation. It was true in the fact that he and ma-ti were good friends. Enough to trust each other and depend on one another for company. He smiled slightly at that fact he trusted another human enough to depend his life over but Little creek really did change his perspective on the ways of humans. "I don't know when this anxiety and fear will ever end, everyone has this issue but I have plenty of hope that in the future you will gain confidence. I will help you in any way I can that does not involve anger" He smiled as Ma-Ti now started to nuzzle him and the older horse nuzzled right back.

"Yes you have but with every tradegy there is a miracle. Trust me. I've been in your place once. I thought the mate I loved was dead only to be alive, I was forced to capture when I found enough courage and faith to escape, I found friends and enemies that were both equally powerful. It gets better, it just takes time" Spirit assured as Ma-Ti responded he handled a lot during his fourteen years. He nuzzled more with Ma-Ti after stating this. He then nodded enthusiastically as Ma-Ti was shocked to hear that spirit was trusting him enough to have the human version of ma-ti ride him if it ever came to pass. "Yes. I do trust you this much. I have good faith in the things or people I trust" He smiled in assurance after saying that.

"Well... That is good. People I suppose can change. I am glad you were close to IHeart, spoony and the critic. I am sure your friends are actually now being closer to each other and helping one another thanks to your influence. I am sure if you do turn human they will be sure to protect you" Spirit said positively with a grim look, because despite the good news he was fearing that maybe the other heroes would never have a chance to meet ma-ti again. He would never say it of course because he was hopeful in the end, but something about this chat was becoming realistic for him too. He wasn't going to say anything about it though.

"You will not lose me. I am and always will be your friend. You did lose a lot but you gained a lot also. Now that you are here with me, I will make sure you are happy once more" Spirit promised again "I will not do anything you do not want me to do. I would rather have your loyalty than anything else at this moment. In a way, you are all I have myself" He admitted calmly

"Yes, let us put that terrible temper problem behind us. We are still best friends and we are still together. That is good enough for me. I have learned that the people with you are better than anything else" Spirit said with a proud grin and he nuzzled the younger horse once more, taking in the fact that the two were still very close and in a way, despite ma-ti being more clingy, spirit himself was being clingy. He cared for Ma-Ti enough to be so, he would do anything for this boy turned horse. This was his friend.

[Ma-Ti]

Midnight grinned.

"I know you wouldn't. You're the best." said Midnight.

He nodded when Spirit said he wasn't sure when the fear would go away but that he knew he would regian his confidence again. Spirit said he'd help him however he could.

"I hope you're right. I hate feeling like this. Scared and pathetic. I was determined not to be broken but they did anyway. I just wanted to rescue my girlfriend not end up an attraction for their circus." said Midnight.

He whimpered as tears flowed down his face. He listened to Spirit again as he spoke.

"You've had a hard life too. Maybe we could help each other. Our families are dead or safe in our old worlds. You've felt more like family the longer I spend with you. Would you mind if I called you Uncle Spirit?" asked Midnight.

He looked at him with pleading eyes as he nuzzled Spirit again who nuzzled him back. He smiled as Spirit did trust him enough to ride him.

"Then I want you to know I feel the same. You're a friend, family to me. I trust you completely." said Midnight.

He nodded when Spirit said people can change.

"I know they can. They've all changed. And there's something else. Something I haven't told anyone before. How I got to this world. Insano was experimenting on a device to pull people here. It must have been the prototype for the device he has now. He pulled me here years ago and experimented on me. I escaped but that time stuck there changed me. It made me angrier, hateful.

I haven't been myself since I came to this world. All these years of trying to make Critic and the others like me. Holding all that anger and hatred. I finally realized I barely recognize myself. And now I've totally flip flopped. I'm so scared that I can't even stand a little shouting. I miss that young innocent and naive boy I used to be as a Planeteer in my old world. I wish I could be him again." said Midnight.

He paused and smiled as Spirit said he wouldn't lose him.

"I'm glad. If this is my fate to be stuck as a horse I want to share it with you. I don't think I could handle this alone." said Midnight.

He paused and nuzzled Spirit some more grateful Spirit was agreeing to his request. He knew Spirit could fight if he wanted to. But he didn't want to lose his friend and the only person he could talk to here. Midnight grinned as they agreed to put the past behind them.

"Yes. Best friends. I've felt like I've connected with my roots again. Talking with animals. If I did turn human again I'd really like to visit the rain forests in South America here. I know they may not be the same as my world but I still feel homesick so maybe it would help." said Midnight.

[Spirit]

Spirit smiled as ma-ti said that he was the best, he felt his ego increase but he took it lightly. He knew how much his words meant to the boy and just allowed him to say these things to him. Spirit nodded sadly as ma-ti said that he hated feeling the way he felt and that he didn't want to be broken but they did it to him anyway. That all he wanted was to help his girlfriend "I know. It was very difficult for you. I share nothing more than sympathy and concern for you. You will be ok. Someday"

Spirit was about to object to ma-ti saying his life was hard but then the boy said they could help each other, and that the older horse was becoming more and more like family. The older horse was touched and showed a big grin when asked if he could be called uncle spirit. As a result, spirit nuzzled in response and responded "If that is what you wish to call me. Yes I would enjoy you calling me that, but only if you want to"

"Maybe he is still there within. Whatever insano did to you is his fault, not yours. You developed into the world in a negative manner for a long time. IHeart and certain people have surely given you the chance to be yourself or love someone I'm sure which causes you to still be aware of your angry behavior. It will change my young friend, just not now" Spirit said wisely and with some patience. He knew ma-ti was clearly troubled and upset with himself, spirit had to give him good self-esteem by baby steps.

"Well, you being with me makes me feel less lonely. So in a way, it works for me too" Spirit said with a weary smile. He smiled and continued nuzzling the young horse as the young horse began nuzzling him more and more. He enjoyed the affection the boy had for him. It was a very comforting thing for the older horse.

"Maybe they would! The forests at this certain place could help. I'm glad you still talk to animals including myself. Maybe when you turn human again you can actually still be able to talk to me without your ring?" Spirit suggested hopefully

[Ma-Ti]

Midnight smiled at him.

"It is. But it helps having a good friend like you." said Midnight.

He smiled nuzzling Spirit again. It just felt really good to talk with him. He smiled as Spirit said he would enjoy calling him Uncle Spirit.

"I do Uncle Spirit. I haven't felt this close to someone since the tribe of my village. He raised me when my parents died. He was like a second father to me. And now I have you. I'm not sure if it's cause I'm more comfortable with animals. Or if we're just really good friends. But I just feel this connection to you like your family. And I don't want to lose that. Whether I remain stuck like this or turn human. We're family now and I'm not going to forget it." said Midnight.

Midnight paused at his words.

"I hope I can find that boy I used to be. But I've been through so much these past few years. Anger, being mistreated, dying, and being revived. Then being turned into a horse and forced to help in a circus. Then I got rescued but I'm still a horse. I don't know Uncle Spirit. Maybe that sweet naive boy is gone for good." said Midnight.

He smiled at Spirit.

"I feel less lonely with you too." said Midnight.

He nuzzled Spirit back again as he grinned. He paused at him with a grin.

"I think that trip would do me some good. If I end up human again would you could come with me on that trip? I don't want to go alone." said Midnight.

[Spirit]

Spirit smiled as Ma-Ti said despite the challenges, it was easy to handle with a friend like him and the horse couldn't help but feel glad again. He was happy his younger part was safe and feeling comforted with him. That was what spirit wanted since this all began. He then nodded as Ma-Ti insisted on calling him "Uncle Spirit" something of a title that was used by foals in the past, but it was in that and spirit was focused on the present for now. "Neither will I, Ma-ti. I promise, whether human or not, you will always be family and a good friend to me. I will give you my life and eternal trust. Now that you have someone close to you once more, I will never take this kindness for granted"

"The boy that you were once before never left, it is there, I can feel it. It just needs to be healed and supported. It's been crushed by frustration and anger both made by yourself and others. You cannot lose optimism, love and faith, for if you lose those good qualities you will lose the rest. I was once like you. I believed my life would never be the same and never be back to the way it was. But it did. It took many years of patience, hard-work, courage and determination but I eventually returned to my own home and place of happiness. I now must do the same to you as what rain, my mate, has done for me. She taught me that just because your life changes does not mean you yourself must change to combat it" Spirit responded, seeing Ma-Ti once again try to fall into despair and self-disgust. The child was indeed lost, not physically but spirtually and emotionally. He needed more than support, he needed some guidance and spirit was going to give him that.

"Of course I can come with you. The forest is quite a good place for creatures like me anyway. I am more than happy to accompany you if a trip like that is possible" Spirit responded cheerfully at Ma-Ti's current request of him.

[Ma-Ti]

Midnight smiled at him.

"It's nice that someone calls me that. Could you keep calling me that? I'd like to be called by my real name even if it's just you." said Midnight.

He smiled glad Spirit was going to stand by him and not leave him alone. He paused listening to Spirit and smiled.

"I hope one day I can get back to that naive boy. Even the angry boy I've been would be an improvement over this. I'm sad and scared too easily. I can't even handle a little yelling." said Midnight.

He smiled listening to Spirit more and his words filled him with so much hope.

"Thank you Uncle Spirit. Your words mean a lot to me. I think if you were human you'd be a great poet or writer." said Midnight.

He grinned as Spirit said he'd come with him.

"Even if I'm stuck as a horse you think we could go? Maybe you could try to get Spoony or someone else to use that ring to talk to you." said Midnight.

[Spirit]

"Of course, ma-ti. You should be called by your real name. It is a good name too" Spirit knew that ma-ti enjoyed this name better, seeing Midnight was something he was not fond of being called. He understood. One of the humans that captured him called him "Mustang" and he hated the term. It sounded like a brand. Spirit was so much more interesting.

"Anger is better than lack of confidence. Even anger has confidence. You will be better one day. I speak from experience. I know what it is like to be in despair. You will feel alright" Spirit nuzzled the other closely, as if protecting his own foal again. He didn't have children but maybe this was a symbol of what was to come? Maybe one day he would have children? Maybe he and rain would have children and be good parents? Only time would tell and time was slow. Well when it wanted to be that is.

"Perhaps. However I cannot predict anything, my friend. If I did, I would be much more of a hero than anything. You are welcome nonetheless" Spirit said with a slight huff in amusement, his sign of a chuckle. He turned to the boy who seemed so much more happier. It was a good sign. Being there to support rather than to force anything onto him was working much better. Corporal punishment did do wonders for making people do things but it was never good things.

"I'm sure. It isn't like I want to escape. You are my friend but these people are good to me too. We can try getting spoony to use the ring" Spirit continued as Ma-Ti kept up with ideas. He smiled, glad ma-ti was more confident in chatting. It was working. He had to be careful though. One wrong move and ma-ti could crumble.

[Ma-Ti]

Midnight nodded at his words.

"Thanks." said Midnight.

He sighed looking at the ground as Spirit told him he'd feel better one day and he shook his head.

"You're wrong. I won't feel better. At least not completely. Malachite messed with my head. He took out my good emotions. Happiness. Love. Confidence. And probably a few others I'm forgetting. It made them easier to break me so I'd work for them. At least they didn't take my memories again or I would't have any idea what those emotions were. But that just makes me more depressed knowing I will never feel that again. As horse or human. As long as Malachite has them." said Midnight.

He sighed listening to him as he spoke next.

"I've actually felt happy today but it's never lasted. I think Malachite probably put some hocus pocus on my emotions so I do feel them but no long enough. Every time I've felt happy I just get sad or scared again. It doesn't last. Is this what my life's going to be like?" said Midnight.

Midnight nodded.

"I would like to go there. But then again maybe I shouldn't. Malachite has my emotions. Facilier still has a voodoo doll made of me. As long as they have those I'll never be completely free of them. They'll try to capture me or worse force me to work against my friends. Maybe it's better I stay a horse." said Midnight.

[Spirit]

At Ma-Ti's thanks, Spirit only grinned and nuzzled the boy-turned-horse "You are most welcome" He then frowned as Ma-Ti said he was wrong and that he wouldn't feel better, explaining why because of more magic from malachite "Forgive me ma-ti but I cannot believe that. Malachite may have magic but love can never be taken away. I love you as my friend and I know deep in my heart that someday this nonsense will wear off and you will have your emotions" Call it too positive? Absolutely but Spirit was not going to lose hope. Hope was all he had other than ma-ti at this point. He was going to make ma-ti believe in hope and feel happy if he had to work hard at it. "Please do not despair and believe malachite has won. If you believe it, he already has defeated you. You cannot allow that. If you do, you WILL be a lost cause and I certainly do not want that for you" He nuzzled the younger horse again, neighing softly and snorting out of protest but it was a much gentler version than last time

"No. This is not how your life will play out. Fate may be cruel but it can also be merciful. If you do not believe in your words, than believe in mine. Everyone will feel happy and sad all the time with or without magic. You must understand that just because malachite is powerful does not mean he shall always win" Spirit said, a tone of patience, wisdom and stubbornness in his voice. He wanted ma-ti to believe in something. Anything. Maybe ma-ti himself, spirit himself or just the concept of good emotions. Either way, spirit didn't want his friend.... or rather adopted nephew, to lose hope

"Those damned fools. I will find a way to get the others to know of these tools and seize them. I will think of something to make you more happy. You do not deserve to be forced to a position of defeat and torture. You are not happy as a horse, therefore we must find a way to fix this issue" Spirit said, a proud, determined look in his eyes and his head held high with pride.

[Ma-Ti]

Midnight grinned listening to him.

"I had the ring of heart. I know how love feels. My heart feels empty. Like all I have left is emotions like sadness and fear. I don't know what I'll do if I'm stuck like this forever. I could handle being stuck as a horse. But being stuck without the ability to love. To be happy. They knew how it would effect me. Sometimes I think maybe it would have been better if I'd died that day instead of turning into a horse and having my emotions taken from me." said Midnight.

He frowned at him.

"But Facilier and Malachite already won. Facilier has a voodoo doll tied to me. They've turned me into a horse. They took away my happier emotions. He can kill me whenever he wants but he wants me to suffer instead. Ever since I've been brought back I've been his pawn in one way or another. I'm sick of being kidnapped, brainwashed, and everything else that's happened to me. But there's nothing I can do about it. Even if I turn human Facilier will find a way to use me against my friends. Or kill me to make them suffer all over again." said Midnight.

He sighed.

"Maybe I should stay a horse. Maybe I should leave and start a new life somewhere else. All I've done since I came back is bring pain. I should go before someone else gets hurt like you." said Midnight.

He paused as Spirit said he'd let them know.

"It wouldn't matter if Critic and the others know. Facilier would probably use it to kill me before they even reached the circus. He has those shadow creatures he can use to spy on us. And who knows what other ways they have to spy. My life has been in Facilier's hands since I was revived. He's been the puppet master and I've been his puppet." said Ma-Ti.

He sighed starting to cry again.

"Maybe this is what I deserve. But not you. Not the others. They're good. They deserve happiness and to live in a free world." said Midnight.

[Spirit]

Spirit nodded, listening to Ma-Ti's words. Before saying his own, gently he responded "I understand your fears and worries. And they are valid fears but never lose hope. I will not believe that your ability to love and be happy is gone. From your reactions to me, I can tell you still love others. It may be gone but it will never be lost forever" He nuzzled the other, seeing him being upset once more

"A battle yes, but they did not win the war. You must not think so negatively. I know it is hard due to your circumstances. But perhaps with my support you can see things positively. Not now, but someday" Spirit replied, hearing ma-ti's thoughts about facilier and malachite. He then listened as Ma-Ti talked about constant suffering and maybe it was no point "It seems this way yes but all of these evil people do get their own punishment. Karma is alive and well. They will get their own trip someday to torture"

Spirit shook his head defyingly as he was told by Ma-Ti that maybe he should stay away "What more can Facilier do to me that hasn't been already done? Do you really think the way he acts is your fault? I've been tortured and abused too my dear boy, and I've lost hope. I've lost a lot of hope. But losing hope was the worst thing I could've done to myself" He then nuzzled ma-ti assuringly "Nothing you can do will change the fact that people will risk their life for you. Whether you are here or not, they will want you to stay or be with them"

"You shouldn't have to be his puppet. It's not right. We must let your friends know so they can find a way to help you" Spirit said, then seeing ma-ti just start crying once more caused the horse's heart to break. Trying to not say anything, he just allowed the boy to let some feelings out and cry. Sometimes you needed a good cry. "It is alright, ma-ti. My young friend. Just let it out"