Father And Son(Leonardo)

[Master Splinter]

(OCC: May 4th, afternoon. Felt this would be a excellent time to have a thread between just Leo and Splinter after SO LONG)

Splinter was absolutely relieved and overjoyed to have his eldest back. He finally had all his family in one place. Splinter had no favorites whatsoever but Leonardo was practically his most ambitious student and most determined child. The fact he was taken away from him for so long just made splinter feel so much worry over his son. But now that he was back, perhaps order could be returned. Donatello, michelangelo and raphael all grew so much and have progressed in different ways but now that leo was back it was a question of how was this going to affect his sons relationship. Sure they would no doubt consider leo their leader once more but how would leo lead and how would they change. Change was coming so much for all five of them that even the rat felt unsure about how much could he take.

Still he tried to be as supportive and as loving for leo as he could during the two days, but leo rightfully just felt so ashamed that he avoided the rat entirely. It was almost as if he never returned at all. But Splinter understood this time. Unlike with when they failed with the shredder, splinter just could not understand why leo was so mentally unwell but here, in this instance, he did. He saw why. Splinter was more than happy to go with the flow this time around, to give leonardo what he needed. Even if that meant space. But it seemed leonardo would come to him, as he heard a knock in his bedroom door. Splinter went to open the door and saw Leonardo before him. Splinter did his absolute best not to get too excited, and smiled softly at his eldest "Leonardo. My son. Come in"

[Leonardo]

Leonardo had kept most to himself since returning. He found his solitude could help him train and think things out more clearly. He was grateful to be free from Malachite's hold and learning Ma-Ti had suffered a similar fate and had even been turned into a horse for awhile. But at the same time the guilt of fighting and hurting others here including his own family ate away ate him. He knew he wasn 't in control but it didn't stop how he felt. He just wasn't sure how to et rid of it. He decided to seek out Master Splinter hoping his father could help him somehow. He knocked on Splinter's door.

"Master Splinter. Father. Are you free?" asked Leonardo.

He sighed in relief as Splinter opened the door and let him in.

"I need your help. I know now I'm not to blame for what has happened these past few months but that doesn't change how I feel. I attacked you, and my brothers several times. I hurt my family. If I'd been just a little bit faster I could seriously hurt one of you or...."

He trailed off not even wanting to stay the possibility out loud of killing one of his family.

"I don't know what to do. I was hoping you could try to help me. And to remain leading them as you have. Right now I don't know if I can lead them anymore. They may have faith in me but I don't have faith in myself. Not right now. Maybe someday but I can't risk someone getting hurt again because of me." said Leonardo.

[Master Splinter]

(OCC: Hope this is good. I think raph or donny can take place as leader for a small while then Leo can return to being leader after a while. Like donny takes his place for a small while then finally leo will gain confidence and become leader once more. If you prefer for donny or raph to permanently take his place let me know)

Splinter allowed Leonardo to enter and kept his mouth shut as Leonardo poured out his dilemna. Splinter nodded as the two of them sat and the rat listened to his son's struggle. Leonardo explained that while he was aware it wasn't his fault, he still felt the guilt and anxiety of hurting his family cloud him. Splinter listened as leonardo replied he did not feel prepared to take role as leader again, if ever at all. Then leonardo asked if splinter could help him. Splinter wanted to support his eldest anyway he could so he nodded after leonardo finished speaking. "My son. Guilt is very hard to get over. You have only just arrived a couple days ago. You must take care of yourself first before anything else. If this means taking a break from being a leader, then so be it"

Splinter then held his son's hand, squeezing it affectionately. He replied with a soft, affectionate look "That being said I do not believe you need to permanently remove yourself as leader, dwell on it for the moment. Give yourself some time. Think about it. If you come to a decision you wish for one of your brothers or simply me to take your permanent place that is fine" Splinter wanted to be as encouraging as possible. He completely understood his son didn't feel comfortable just letting this go. He wanted to heal and fix himself before doing anything and splinter was fine with that.

Splinter then gave a soft sigh as he recalled leo's words of being afraid of what would've happened if he was too fast or just too sadistic under malachite's spell. Splinter then turned to leonardo and replied softly "I know you are going through this transition where you feel the guilt weigh you down. But if it assists in comforting you, know that I blame malachite fully for it. And whatever you wish me to do to support you, I will gladly do it"

[Leonardo]

(ooc: Donny might be better option. I think in some ways the other 3 turtles are dealing with their own issues. all 3 had to work for villains. leo l onger than the others but he was forced to do it while the other two were tricked. might make them all question their own judgement skills/leadership potential to a degree.)

Leo listened and nodded.

"Thank you. I know the others may not accept this or agree. But maybe you could help me talk to them. I met with Donatello the day after I got here. And the rest of you when you freed me. I've been keeping to myself after that. Meditating and training." said Leo.

Leo sighed.

"I'll think about it. Maybe one day if it feels right. I think it's probably for the best that you lead. If not you, then maybe Donny. Mikey's too impulsive, and Raph well he lets his anger get the best of him sometimes. I think the last thing we need is for Raph and me to end up fighting again." said Leo.

Leo nodded and smiled.

"Thank you father." said Leo.

He paused with a blush remembering who else he met that day.

"I think I've developed feelings or a crush on someone. But this has never happened before. I never fell in love with anyone. My friends and family were always enough for me. But I don't even know if they like me back. Do you have any advice?" said Leo.

[Master Splinter]

(OCC: True, yeah I'll have donny do it. Splinter is best as the mentor and overall guide but donny is best to be replacement material. Plus it gives donny a chance to feel worthy for being a part of the family. He has his own insecurity due to being the only one for splinter the longest, so he wishes to prove himself to splinter I think. Anyway, I hope leo will become leader eventually after a while)

Splinter nodded about Leonardo thanking him for his support and his comments about spending time with them and himself "I know you have been trying to get used to this place. I understand why you are, my son. And yes I will join you when you let your brothers know about your decision to take a break from leadership" He then pondered over leonardo's words. While he did have a point about the other three turtles having their own personal issue with leonardo's choice to have himself be replaced as leader, Splinter had a feeling they would somehow accept in their own way. Raphael was least likely to have a problem listening to donatello, raphael and donatello always got along best. Donatello always managed to pacify raphael better than the rest, so he felt if anyone was going to trust donatello it would be raphael. But michelangelo was a different story. Not that michelangelo would doubt donatello or even resent him, if anything michelangelo adored donatello. But Michelangelo always, always looked to leonardo or splinter himself for guidance. Michelangelo always obeyed leonardo's orders regardless of being asked or not but he seemed to view donatello way more as a equal, and therefore always teased or questioned donatello so splinter was unsure how michelangelo would react.

And as for donatello himself, he would definitely not enjoy the idea of being leader, donatello admired leonardo too much. That and being a scientist as opposed to a pack leader. But Splinter despite being aware donatello would not enjoy it, he would still do it to support leonardo because donatello was always the supportive one. Even if that meant holding things in. Splinter would make sure to always support donatello's skill in leadership and to be there for his second eldest also. He wanted donatello to do well and the best way to do well was to encourage. Therefore it was needed for donny to take leonardo's place. Not Splinter himself, he was too old and too bias. He wanted donatello to finally accept himself as a wonderful warrior and wonderful young man. He also made sure donatello got the emotional support about the pressure of the war as well as family problems, splinter wanted donatello to succeed and be happy. Hell he wanted ALL of his sons to be successful and happy, he was hellbent on that. He had his four sons together at last, he was going to fight tooth and nail to keep it that way. And be the father he had always been.

He wasn't concerned about failure, he would not allow it. He wanted leonardo to heal and go back to his path of success. That meant holding his tongue about his concerns of not being leader for now, leonardo had to focus on himself before focusing on his brothers. Having processed all his thoughts of both raphael and michelangelo's chance of accepting donatello as leader being high, and his own awareness of his fatherly shortcomings he made his own insight to this. Splinter replied calmly, assuringly and kindly "My son. While I truly am flattered you wish me to replace you, I cannot. I can teach. I can parent. But I cannot lead you into battle. I'm too overprotective, if I was leader you and your brothers would be stuck in this house and I would handle this war myself. Which is selfish. Therefore I think your second choice to have donatello be leader is best suited"

Splinter then smiled a tad as Leonardo once again thanked him. He was glad he was helpful. No matter how small the help was. He then cocked his head in interest as leonardo got a bit shy, confessing he had a crush. He nodded, aware all his sons were finally free enough to be curious and develop feelings for people. Which was absolutely normal. There was nothing wrong with having your heart develop romantic interest. Splinter could not forbid his son to love. No matter who they were. Splinter couldn't help but smile warmly in relief that leonardo found someone, a small part of him hoped the feeling was mutual and that the person was accepting of mutant turtles. He didn't know too much on who they were but he wanted to have leonardo understand that he was allowed to feel this way. Splinter sighed softly, muttering to himself "Ah my sons are growing up too fast" He then replied more publicly "Leonardo. I too am not fully experienced in this area, but I do know a few things. One thing is that you must be yourself, regardless if the person you are interested in feels the same or not. Because being deceptive of who you are is not only wrong to yourself but to them also. And it is best you are honest. You simply try to express your feelings. If they do not feel the same, know that there will always be another someday. Know that you feeling this way is normal. For anyone"

Splinter then gave a curious look, feeling his curiosity eat at him very, very quickly "That being said as your father I cannot help but be curious. Who exactly is the person who stole my son's heart hm?" He smirked as he said this, being jokey. Wishing to make leonardo laugh or at least be a bit more joyful. He wanted to make his son a bit happy or be a little less anxious.

[Leonardo]

Leo nodded.

"Thank you. Maybe one day I could take over. But right now I just don't feel like it. How can I trust others to follow my leadership when I can't trust myself? I know I was under a powerful dark magic but part of me still feels like I should have been able to fight it. Even though I know I couldn't. Malachite was too strong. And I even made friends in that army. Friends who will know be my enemies. I don't know if I could fight some of them. I probably will avoid fights with Facilier's army for a while to be safe." said Leo.

Leo paused at Splinter's words.

"If you think Donny is up to it then ok. Maybe be his second in command if he needs it? I know Raph and Mikey are healing from their own wounds. I wasn't the only one working for another army. From what I hear they were tricked but they still fought for a villain army. Like me, they could have even made friends in Ask That Guy's army. Maybe you should be talking with them privately as well. Or one of the others could help. Trying to forget things or act like it didn't happen could get someone hurt or killed. Maybe even one of us. We all have our own demons to deal with. They may not walk to talk. I know I didn't at first but we can't really heal if we bottle everything up." said Leo.

Leo paused at Splinter's words.

"You're right father. I just don't know if they feel the same way. I've never felt this way about anyone else before. If they fail part of me wonders if I should even try again. I was content without a romance before but something about my crush just feels different you know." said Leo.

When Splinter asked Leo paused.

"It's Max. He's so new to the army and I felt a crush on him the moment I met him. But I don't want to frighten him off. I've never been in love before. I want to do this right, and not screw up." said Leo.

[Master Splinter]

(OCC: Great. Now leo has tempted me to do a one on one thread with splinter and mikey in the future. Thanks leo. Also I HAD to have splinter make a sagamoto quote like from the series, it's too funny LMAO)

"Of course my son. This sort of self analysis takes time. You must be patient with yourself. If you wish to return to leadership in the future or not know that I will fully support you" Splinter affectionately replied. He always knew Leonardo tended to look to him for emotional support and he always was happy to give it. His brothers looked for emotional support from him too but for different ways. Leonardo's way was the most basic, for splinter to accept and help with his decision making and splinter wanted to Leonardo to understand that this choice was one splinter understood.

He then lowered his ears in worry as Leonardo felt rightfully uneasy to confront facilier army members. Splinter was also worried but for his own reasons. He was terrified that if malachite saw him again he would capture him again or worse just kill him outright. He then expressed a evident amount of relief as Leonardo believed he would not confront facilier's army for a while and give himself a wide birth from them. That delighted splinter more than he wanted to admit. He nodded understandingly "Of course Leonardo. I think that is an extremely wise decision. I think it is best you only confront ask thatguy's army or focus on training here for the time being"

He then nodded as Leonardo, while happy to pick Donny, asked splinter to be the second in command. That he could do, splinter could easily help Donatello with decision making should the pressure be too much but overall he had to let Donatello lead. If splinter himself lead, it would lead him to be too fearful to let his sons fight, he had to balance helping out and letting go and splinter believed he could indeed balance that. He then smiled as his eldest wisely and observantly pointed out raphael and Michelangelo were struggling in their own right since they too were from villain armies. Michelangelo and Leonardo had quite a lot of common there. They were both quite observant of others and tending to understand them more than people gave them credit for. "My son. You are wise beyond your years. Your observance is beyond commendable" Splinter praised but then he sighed, feeling his eldest words get to him. He felt his own guilt for having his sons suffer in any way shape or form "You are absolutely right. Your brothers are also struggling in their own way. They too should not have to suffer from such guilt or self-doubt. Do not worry, I will find a way to reach them and make sure they are healing also" He replied patiently to Leonardo

Splinter then replied as Leonardo honestly expressed worry that the person he was interested in would not feel the same way. "Well it is as the great sage Shinto sakamoto once said 'Better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all'. I am sure it is best to try my son" He then smiled as Leonardo said that his crush felt different. Splinter nodded "I understand how you feel. But do not resist what your heart is telling you. It is like you said, it's best to not 'bottle up'" He then smiled amusedly at that, reminding a bit of his son's own advice with how to deal with feelings. He then nodded as Leonardo explained that the person, a boy named max, was the one he was feeling for. Splinter stroked his beard at that. He had absolutely no problem if his sons were attracted to men or women or both. He was very accepting of it. As long as his sons were happy he didn't care. He then gave his son a affectionate pat on the shoulder "If this boy does not feel the same then he is a fool. You are kind, you are hard-working, you are disciplined and you have a strong spirit. You will not fail regardless of what happens Leonardo. I think you're a incredible young man"

[Leonardo]

Leo smiled.

"I always felt better after talking with you. Even if the problem isn't completely solved I at least have a plan to solve it. And that's better than no plan at all ." said Leo.

Leo nodded.

"I'll probably stick to Ask That Guy battles to be safe. I've heard rumors that Shredder and Karai might be there. That will make things hard. I'm guessing it's regular Shredder right? Since Donny killed the virtual one that overrode Viral's programming." said Leo.

But he frowned realizing technically they could have more than one Shredder. It was hard enough fighting those 3 digital shredders on their trip through time to get to the past. Virtual Shredder had been nearly invincible. He 'd take the regular Shredder any day.

Leo smiled.

"Thank you. I suppose Donny might be as well. But out of the four of us he may be in the best shape to lead. At least Raphael and Mikey were together in Ask That Guy's army despite everything. And Donny had you here. But I was alone. Trapped in my own mind forced to serve that monster. Is it awful that as much as I'm glad you were all safe part of me wishes I had one of you there so I wouldn't have been alone?" said Leo.

Leo paused at Splinter's words.

"I suppose. I want to try I just fear rejection." said Leo.

Leo blushed a bit at Splinter's praise. He was always more modest about his accomplishments and hearing them out loud made him nervous but pleased.

"Thank you father. I will give this some more thought to proceed. I do need to ask him but I just need to figure out how." said Leo.

[Master Splinter]

(OCC: Hope you don't mind me adding a little bit about how pissed splinter is that shredder is here. Kind of makes sense to me. Shredder may not really take him as a arch enemy like the turtles are to him, but I know for a FACT splinter hates shredder's guts)

Splinter beamed brightly as Leonardo outright told him that talking to splinter always helped him in some way. As Leonardo's parent it delighted him to see that his words had helped. Then again, it always delighted him when his sons thanked him or at least told him that he was helping. Donatello had many, many moments like that with him. Donatello and him bonded quite well despite the sad circumstances of having Michelangelo and raphael in ATG's while Leonardo was enslaved at Facilier's. And he was glad to see he helped raphael a bit. Michelangelo and him were overall close but it seemed his youngest was struggling more and splinter seemed to be at a stalemate with the youngest. Regardless he was very close overall with all his sons. But Leonardo was one that managed to just click with him, even underneath all this drama. He replied delightfully "I am very glad to hear that my son. Know that I always wish to support you"

He then nodded about Leonardo's decision to confront ATG's forces, approving of that. He then hummed in both annoyance and fear as Leonardo told him of rumors of both karai and shredder being here. Like Leonardo, he heard the rumors and he unfortunately saw a little bit of proof of both karai and the utrom shredder being here. He sighed, angry and disgusted that his old enemy has once again returned. He just wanted shredder to be gone. His master did not die just so shredder could keep popping up. It, for a lack of a better phrase, pissed him off. He replied, his tone of voice filled with evident worry "Unfortunately leonardo, The Critic has shown me proof recently that both karai and regular shredder are indeed here. I know you, your brothers and I will have to face them someday, but promise me you will try to be careful if you must face them. I know you will be able to handle yourself with them but you know me. I worry still" He sighed again, the anger and sadness of losing Yoshi coming back to haunt him again. Would his father never be able to rest in peace? He muttered some Japanese to himself, asking basically for his father Master Yoshi to give him the strength he needed to deal with shredder. He then muttered a slight curse against Shredder, in Japanese of course. Needless to say, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get past his own personal anger.

He took a deep breath afterwards, calming down for the sake of not worrying his eldest. He nodded, listening as Leonardo commented that out of them four, if anyone was going to take his place, it'd best be Donatello. He then nodded as Leonardo commented Donatello might be struggling but had a better chance of leading "I agree my son. While choosing him as leader is best, I will still check on Donatello and help him if he wishes" He then listened as Leonardo began to get a bit sad. That while Michelangelo and raphael had each other, and splinter and Donatello had each other, Leonardo was alone. Splinter's ears fell absolutely flat. He knew that his eldest was alone. And it made him so undeniably sad and guilty. He had constantly been searching for answers to save his eldest but malachite's magic just kept making his son slip through the cracks. He then widened his eyes as Leonardo asked if it was bad or wrong to have wished that he could've had at least one of them there to not feel so alone. Splinter held his son's hands, squeezing them affectionately "Of course not Leonardo! I have immense shame for not being there for you. I know malachite kept us apart, but I had often contemplated leaving this place to find you and bring you back. But that would've done more harm than good. Regardless, even though it has worked out for us, your feelings are always valid"

"Everyone fears that, my son. That is normal" Splinter smiled softly as Leonardo confessed he DID want to try, but didn't want rejection. Splinter understood that. He had little experience with romance but he DID know that trying was better than not trying. Casey and April proved that. He then listened as Leonardo replied he would give this time, that he would eventually tell max but was gonna figure out how. He nodded, understandingly "Of course my son. Take your time. You will figure it out. You always do"